Okay seriously...I am not technically a 'step-mom' but in all sense of the word/words I AM! Aubs and Ry are amazing girls, Josh is an amazing man...and being a 'step-mom' is hard.
Top 10 Reasons being a Step-mom is HARD!
1. The Insta-Mom Phenomenon
I am pregnant with my first child, meaning I was not a mom when I met Aubs and Ry. And I kid you not that I felt like Insta-Mom, and sometimes still do. In a split second I had to adapt to their needs, desires, demands, etc. Sure, I have built in instincts (thank goodness that I am somewhat naturally maternal), but it is a huge shift from the mentality of being self-centered, and the mentality of being 6 & 8 year old girl centered. There is no gradual easing or 9 month period to realize your life will be centered around another human being (though I am sure even that is not enough time). Let's just say, I am really appreciating the incubation period of this pregnancy!
2. I Need to Go to the Bathroom
You know when you need to pee? Like really need to pee, especially when you are pregnant? Too bad, there are two red-headed monkeys that need to go first. You know when your dinner just arrived and it smells sooooo good? Well too bad, they need to go to the bathroom. They can't reach the soap, they can't reach the sink, they give other women in the bathroom evil glares when they compliment them on their hair (can't blame them, it happens all the time and I can see how it would get a bit annoying).
3. I'm Hungry
Apparently the girls are so hungry that they are going to shrivel up and blow away, at least that is what it seems by how often they say "I'm Hungry". Part of me wishes I was the kind of person to say "Go ask your dad." But I'm not. My life is now spent anticipating breakfast, snack 1, lunch, snack 2, dinner, and snack 3...and any other cravings in between. And it happened instantly! As soon as a woman was around they asked me, not their dad.
4. Look at THIS!
They want to show me and daddy everything, and daddy is a little better at balancing what to look at. They want to sing a song for me, they want to show me their drawing, etc. Gosh, I wish I was excited and got that much attention over everything I did.
5. She Hates me!
I think Ry and I are friends for sure, but she is sensitive. The one time I did kind of ignore Ry asking me where the scissors were (I was really tired, and her dad was sitting right next to me and I had felt like I had been meeting their demands all day), she got upset and said no one ever listened to her. When I explained that all day I had listened to her and her sister and made them food, etc, and that I just wanted to sit for a minute and watch TV...she actually understood! Another time, Ry threw something in my face and my reaction scared her. She starting SOBBING in her bed! We made up, but it took a while and a little talk with her. Both times I broke down to Josh crying. Making a child cry is one of the worst things in the world :(
6. Mom's Shadow
"Well my mom makes it this way....my mom always buys us this at the store....my mom has traveled all over the world...my mom is an amazing artist....my mom runs 13 miles a day...my mom makes her own almond milk....my mom makes her own deodorant...my mom had my dad help her make a sewing manikin that is her size by having my dad put paper mache all over her body..." (OMG, seriously, this last one was really hard to hear.)
<----My vision of their mom in these moments (except I imagine she has bigger perfect boobs), and wondering if I can ever live up to that.
7. Jesus Christ!
Apparently Ry got in trouble for saying 'Jesus Christ!' at something. Guess who says that? Yep, me. Sigh...and I thought I was doing so good not to curse.
8. Disney Channel
Do I really need to say more? What happened to Family Matters and Full House? Maybe if I would have had time to ease into children's programming it wouldn't be such a shock to watch Austin & Alley ALL DAY!
9. My new room...The Kitchen
So I have a new room, and it is called the kitchen. I am growing to love it, especially since becoming pregnant and wanting to be a super mom for my baby, but I am seriously thinking of investing in an anti-fatigue mat. My kitchen is never clean, my grocery list has morphed into a combination of things the girls will eat and organic/healthy stuff, the girls always want to help cook (and then they want to take full credit for dinner! lol, so immature of me to even care, but I secretly do), and sometimes I dread them coming and standing in the kitchen door and just looking at me....what do they need/want? I've started telling them "Oh good! You came to help me clean the kitchen!" :) You can imagine the looks I get at that.
10. Where do I fit in?
Josh is the most amazing father. His girls love him SO much! Every day he wrestles and tickles them and our home is filled with giggles and squeals. Every night he tucks them in and climbs up on the top bunk and hugs them and tells them "Night, night, don't let the bed bugs bite..." and they reply, "If they do, take a shoe, smack them till they're black and blue," followed by a series of I Love Yous. And sometimes I don't feel like I fit in those pictures. It isn't all that often, but when I do feel that way it hurts a lot. I'm left to wonder if I will tickle them in the right spot to get a giggle, if the top bunk would even hold me (haha), and especially if I say "I love you" will they say "I love you" back?
1. The Insta-Mom Phenomenon - I am so proud of myself for being trusted to step into this role by them and their father! And that I don't feel like an utter failure doing it.
2. I Need to Go to the Bathroom - They trust me to help them in the bathroom and I couldn't be more proud of them washing their hands. Not sure why this makes me so proud, but it does! Plus, we get some awesome 1x1 time.
3. I'm Hungry - So, why do they ask me this? Because they know I'm there for them! They know I'll provide. What a compliment to be trusted like that. It has also taught me how to say "No".
4. Look at THIS! - What? You want ME to look at that? Why of COURSE! Thank you for wanting me to see these things you love and are proud of! I'm proud of you too!
5. She LOVES Me! - When the girls smile at me, when they randomly hug me, when they run in the door saying "Olly!", when Aubs randomly kissed me in the pool, when Ry wants to sit by me at dinner... :)
6. Mom's Shadow - And that they know they can talk to me about her, and that they believe I am secure enough and confident enough in myself to hear about her. Maybe sometimes I'm faking confidence, but then again, sometimes I believe that I am pretty darn good myself.
7. Jesus Christ! - Every day these girls inspire me to be a better person, to be and speak like a lady, they are getting me ready to be a great example for my own child.
8. Disney Channel - I remember waking up on Saturday mornings and watching whatever I wanted while my mom got breakfast ready. Maybe she disliked my shows as much as I dislike the Disney Channel. So it is worth it to let them watch it...doesn't mean I won't try to expose them to some different stuff of course :)
9. My new room....the Kitchen! - I have made so many new things and gained so much confidence by cooking! Plus it is and can be fun! When Aubs and Ry help it is awesome. They learn new things and I can teach them things! Lately I've been asking for an apron...I don't know if Josh thinks I'm joking, but I'm NOT! If I get one for V-Day that would make me sooo happy.
10. Where do I fit in? - With my family, that is where. And it is so awesome!
I hope this post didn't come off as a b*tching session. I am so grateful for every one of these challenges!
Top 10 Reasons being a Step-mom is HARD!
I am pregnant with my first child, meaning I was not a mom when I met Aubs and Ry. And I kid you not that I felt like Insta-Mom, and sometimes still do. In a split second I had to adapt to their needs, desires, demands, etc. Sure, I have built in instincts (thank goodness that I am somewhat naturally maternal), but it is a huge shift from the mentality of being self-centered, and the mentality of being 6 & 8 year old girl centered. There is no gradual easing or 9 month period to realize your life will be centered around another human being (though I am sure even that is not enough time). Let's just say, I am really appreciating the incubation period of this pregnancy!
2. I Need to Go to the Bathroom
You know when you need to pee? Like really need to pee, especially when you are pregnant? Too bad, there are two red-headed monkeys that need to go first. You know when your dinner just arrived and it smells sooooo good? Well too bad, they need to go to the bathroom. They can't reach the soap, they can't reach the sink, they give other women in the bathroom evil glares when they compliment them on their hair (can't blame them, it happens all the time and I can see how it would get a bit annoying).
3. I'm Hungry
Apparently the girls are so hungry that they are going to shrivel up and blow away, at least that is what it seems by how often they say "I'm Hungry". Part of me wishes I was the kind of person to say "Go ask your dad." But I'm not. My life is now spent anticipating breakfast, snack 1, lunch, snack 2, dinner, and snack 3...and any other cravings in between. And it happened instantly! As soon as a woman was around they asked me, not their dad.
4. Look at THIS!
They want to show me and daddy everything, and daddy is a little better at balancing what to look at. They want to sing a song for me, they want to show me their drawing, etc. Gosh, I wish I was excited and got that much attention over everything I did.
5. She Hates me!
I think Ry and I are friends for sure, but she is sensitive. The one time I did kind of ignore Ry asking me where the scissors were (I was really tired, and her dad was sitting right next to me and I had felt like I had been meeting their demands all day), she got upset and said no one ever listened to her. When I explained that all day I had listened to her and her sister and made them food, etc, and that I just wanted to sit for a minute and watch TV...she actually understood! Another time, Ry threw something in my face and my reaction scared her. She starting SOBBING in her bed! We made up, but it took a while and a little talk with her. Both times I broke down to Josh crying. Making a child cry is one of the worst things in the world :(
"Well my mom makes it this way....my mom always buys us this at the store....my mom has traveled all over the world...my mom is an amazing artist....my mom runs 13 miles a day...my mom makes her own almond milk....my mom makes her own deodorant...my mom had my dad help her make a sewing manikin that is her size by having my dad put paper mache all over her body..." (OMG, seriously, this last one was really hard to hear.)
<----My vision of their mom in these moments (except I imagine she has bigger perfect boobs), and wondering if I can ever live up to that.
7. Jesus Christ!
Apparently Ry got in trouble for saying 'Jesus Christ!' at something. Guess who says that? Yep, me. Sigh...and I thought I was doing so good not to curse.
8. Disney Channel
Do I really need to say more? What happened to Family Matters and Full House? Maybe if I would have had time to ease into children's programming it wouldn't be such a shock to watch Austin & Alley ALL DAY!
9. My new room...The Kitchen
10. Where do I fit in?
Josh is the most amazing father. His girls love him SO much! Every day he wrestles and tickles them and our home is filled with giggles and squeals. Every night he tucks them in and climbs up on the top bunk and hugs them and tells them "Night, night, don't let the bed bugs bite..." and they reply, "If they do, take a shoe, smack them till they're black and blue," followed by a series of I Love Yous. And sometimes I don't feel like I fit in those pictures. It isn't all that often, but when I do feel that way it hurts a lot. I'm left to wonder if I will tickle them in the right spot to get a giggle, if the top bunk would even hold me (haha), and especially if I say "I love you" will they say "I love you" back?
Top 10 Reasons being a Step-mom is AWESOME!
1. The Insta-Mom Phenomenon - I am so proud of myself for being trusted to step into this role by them and their father! And that I don't feel like an utter failure doing it.
2. I Need to Go to the Bathroom - They trust me to help them in the bathroom and I couldn't be more proud of them washing their hands. Not sure why this makes me so proud, but it does! Plus, we get some awesome 1x1 time.
3. I'm Hungry - So, why do they ask me this? Because they know I'm there for them! They know I'll provide. What a compliment to be trusted like that. It has also taught me how to say "No".
4. Look at THIS! - What? You want ME to look at that? Why of COURSE! Thank you for wanting me to see these things you love and are proud of! I'm proud of you too!
5. She LOVES Me! - When the girls smile at me, when they randomly hug me, when they run in the door saying "Olly!", when Aubs randomly kissed me in the pool, when Ry wants to sit by me at dinner... :)
6. Mom's Shadow - And that they know they can talk to me about her, and that they believe I am secure enough and confident enough in myself to hear about her. Maybe sometimes I'm faking confidence, but then again, sometimes I believe that I am pretty darn good myself.
7. Jesus Christ! - Every day these girls inspire me to be a better person, to be and speak like a lady, they are getting me ready to be a great example for my own child.
8. Disney Channel - I remember waking up on Saturday mornings and watching whatever I wanted while my mom got breakfast ready. Maybe she disliked my shows as much as I dislike the Disney Channel. So it is worth it to let them watch it...doesn't mean I won't try to expose them to some different stuff of course :)
9. My new room....the Kitchen! - I have made so many new things and gained so much confidence by cooking! Plus it is and can be fun! When Aubs and Ry help it is awesome. They learn new things and I can teach them things! Lately I've been asking for an apron...I don't know if Josh thinks I'm joking, but I'm NOT! If I get one for V-Day that would make me sooo happy.
10. Where do I fit in? - With my family, that is where. And it is so awesome!
I hope this post didn't come off as a b*tching session. I am so grateful for every one of these challenges!
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