To Circumcise or Not to Circumcise? (Part 1 of 2) - Our Decision

That is a big question that almost every parent will have to face.

*I'd like to note that Josh and I don't know if we are having a boy or a girl, and we are going to keep it that way.  So no matter what, this conversation had to happen...*

I have always assumed that I would do a lot of things.

I assumed I'd someday live in a mansion...

I assumed that I'd only ever marry one person...

And I assumed if I had a son he would be circumcised.

But once I became pregnant I stopped assuming so much.  I want to be an active parent, to do active research, and to make active choices in my child's life.  That means I have to question my assumptions and the assumptions of others, and get down to the nitty gritty of what is best for me, my family, and my child.

And that is what I would encourage every parent to do...make the best decision for your circumstance.  They are not all the same, and this post is in no way a judgement of other choices.

FOUR REASONS WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO CIRCUMCISE

1.  The Foreskin doesn't make the penis dirty, it protects it.  

     Here is a fun quote, if you can makes sense of it all;

The article, Foreskin Sexual Function/Circumcision Sexual Dysfunction released by the Circumcision Information Resources Pages (CIRP) collaborates various scientific sources to examine the role of the foreskin in human sexuality in addition to studying the dysfunction that is cased by surgical amputation. 

The foreskin either partially or completely covers the glans penis in the adult male protecting it from dryness and abrasion [2]. Remaining protected from foreign stimuli, the foreskin maintains the subpreputial area wet and moist with prostatic, vesicular, and urethral secretions [2]. The subpreputial moisture contains lysozyme, which destroys pathogens [1]. It is important that the glans remain in this state of moisture and wetness because it is covered with mucosa, not skin. In addition, the prepuce guards from the process of keritinization. This otherwise would cause the glans to thicken as skin cells begin to layer, which deadens sensation [2]. 

In infant boys, the prepuce protects the meatus from ammoniacal diapers and prevents meatitis, meatal ulceration, and meatal stenosis. E. coli that is found in feces is the most important pathogen in urinary tract infection. The muscle fibers in the foreskin act as a preputial sphincter, helping to prevent UTI in infants as it forbids contact between the meatus and feces. Additionally, the foreskin also helps to reduce incidence of non-specific urethritis and presence of Staphylococcus aureus in the urethra [1]. 

2.  The Foreskin promotes less forceful penetration during sex, as well as reducing vaginal dryness.

   When I first interviewed my midwife, the subject of circumcision came up.  My midwife didn't tell me what to do either way, but she did tell that her friend recently has intercourse with an 'uncut' man, and her friend won't shut up about how it is the best she has EVER had.  Obviously, my midwife knows how I think.  You are welcome future girlfriend/wife of my son.  

     Another fun quote;

An important mechanical function of the foreskin is its ability to facilitate intromission and penetration [2]. As the foreskin unfolds, the penis enters his partner reducing friction, dryness, and abrasion allowing intercourse to be more comfortable [1].

Also, the presence of the foreskin allows for less forceful penetration. After penetration, the foreskin provides a unique gliding action that substantially reduces friction and vaginal dryness [1]. 

3.  The nerve endings in the Foreskin create pleasurable erotic sensations, and also reduce the risk of premature ejaculation.  Lol, You are welcome son!

The foreskin is a specific erogenous zone that is the most heavily innervated part of the penis with nerve endings near the surface of the ridged band. This band originates from the frenulum and encircles the opening of the foreskin [2]. The tissue whose nerve endings most sensitive to fine touch and temperature is located in the foreskin [1].

The foreskin has a layer of a smooth muscle tissue, the peripenic muscle, which comprises a portion of the dartos muscle [2]. The nerve-endings that are present in the foreskin become stimulated through motion and stretching [1]. Through the contractions of the unique muscle fibers in this tissue, the foreskin obtains strong elasticity, which is crucial to erogenous sensation. The muscle tissue must stretch to glide over the glans upon erection, later to return to its normal flaccid coverage. The stretching movement produces great sensation and pleasure. The nerve endings produce pleasurable erotic sensations, which travel to the central nervous system, inputting to the autonomic nervous system. This process plays a vital role in controlling erection and ejaculation [2].

Nerve endings of the glans are concentrated in the corona. Likewise, they intrude against the corona during intercourse [2]. The foreskin protects the corona from direct stimulation, and because it is the most highly innervated part of the glans penis, this helps to prevent premature ejaculation [1]. 

4.  It just isn't necessary.  

    This is my opinion.  There are many arguments for not leaving a boy in tact.  But most of them are either false or they are social stigmas.  Since I have not found a valid reason for circumcising my child I would feel wrong doing that.  I understand that not everyone views it in this way, but...I would not want anyone to modify my genitalia, so I feel that it is not right for me to modify my son's genitalia.  In my mind...oh and I'm sorry if this offends you but I cannot deny this is how I feel....it is equatable to genital mutilation.  If that is how I feel, how could I rightly do that to my son?


OUR DECISION

I was terrified to bring this subject up to Josh.  I assumed, as I do a lot, that he wouldn't hear me out, that he would immediately be against it, that there was no way I could convince a 'cut' man to consider leaving his son natural.  Boy, I really need to stop assuming things.  He is an amazing man, and when I told him I wanted to research the possibility he was completely fine with it.  Didn't even bat an eye!  Then last night (the reason I decided to write this post today) he brought up that he was talking to a coworker about, in his own words, "You know, we were talking about that thing we decided not to do if we have a boy..."

Hahaha, yes, I guess we have officially made the decision to NOT circumcise.

You see, Josh didn't need to do much research.  He just had to know it was unnecessary, and if that is the case, why do it?

In My Opinion:

Instead of convincing ourselves why NOT to circumcise, maybe we should try to convince ourselves why we SHOULD!

RESEARCH

I have done a lot of research on this subject, and I would advise everyone to do their own.  I'm not posting all the data here.  Maybe I will in later posts.  This was a great article I stumbled upon today that I quoted above:

http://childbirthand.blogspot.com/2011/01/benefits-of-keeping-penis-intact.html

I know a lot of people will tell you to just watch a video of a circumcision and that will convince you to leave your son natural.  Well, I haven't and I don't plan to.  I am not about doing or not doing things out of FEAR.  And I'm sure videos can be biased.  There are sure to people who have had great circumcision experiences., and some with horrible ones.


Thanks for reading!

What's An Appointment Like w/A Midwife? (16 weeks)

Research is so neat!  I love to read all I can about things that interest me, and what interests me right now is my baby!  So while I love books (I've read many on the subject of birth, etc.) the internet is a wonderful resource.  Not only can I read facts about different types of births, I can read about other people's experiences and opinions!

There is a particular forum I belong to at babycenter.com where I get to see a lot of opinions.  Not all of them very educated (sorry to judge, but it's my blog and I can judge if I want to...yes I just sang that.)  I've noticed a lot of posts about women visiting their OBs and what it is like.  Often times women will post that they were scolded about their weight, or they are freaking out about something the OB said that they didn't understand.  Now, I have no doubt that there are some fabulous OBs out there.  These are just a small sampling of some women's experiences.

Before I was actually pregnant, I suspected that I was pregnant while I had an IUD in.  I decided to go to the OB to get it checked out.  It was a great appointment.  The woman was so nice.  I wasn't pregnant, but we decided to take my IUD out so that my boyfriend and I could start trying for a baby (he and I had discussed this previously.)  I left feeling great!

As soon as I got a positive pregnancy test I called up the same office to make an appointment with that nice lady, only to be informed she wasn't an OB.  Maybe it was my ignorance, maybe she introduced herself as a nurse and I missed it...but it didn't matter.  When I heard she wasn't an OB and was not the woman I would be seeing, I felt betrayed and lied to.  I made the appointment with another person who I had never met, but cancelled it shortly there after.

I think the expectations that are created within us throughout life of what pregnancy and doctors appointments are supposed to be like, may have something to do with us accepting circumstances without question.  I am so glad that something clicked in my brain to not accept the standard, to look outside the box...

I had no expectation of what it would be like to visit a midwife when I started out.  I just hoped it wouldn't be like a doctor's office or hospital where I never feel comfortable.  I thought it might be helpful to some women if I shared my experience from my visit last night which was my 16 week visit.  I may go back and chronicle some of my other visits as well.

I know this may not be the case for everyone, but this is...

What An Appointment With My Midwife is Like:::

Last night my appointment was at 6 PM.  We scheduled it later in the day so Josh's daughters could go with us and hear the baby's heartbeat.  My midwives work out of Cascade Birthing Center in Everett, WA.  Upon entry you find yourself in a living room type setting with a TV, comfy couches, arm chairs, and beautiful photography of babies and pregnancy.

There was no one at the front desk (everyone was busy with appointments) so we sat in this area and Josh's girls played with a bunch of toys that were in a box on the floor.  They spread out and soon the room was filled with giggles and laughs.

There is one primary midwife at this birthing center named Darlene.  But in order to have 24/7 coverage there are two others.  This week I met a different midwife named Jane for the first time.  When she came out to greet us she introduced herself and took us into one of the birthing rooms.  There are two birthing rooms at this facility.  Josh's daughters immediately commented about how it was like a nice hotel.

Suite 1

Suite 2

While the girls looked around with their dad, I got comfortable on the bed.  Jane sat there with me.  Here are some highlights of the things we talked about.  I'm not sure of the exact wording, but you can get an idea:

WEIGHT

Jane:  Have you been weighing yourself?

Me:  Yes, this morning I weighed in at 256.5 (Note, I started the pregnancy at 251)

Jane:  Great.

Me:  I'm surprised I haven't gained more weight.  

Jane:  You know, you may gain ten more pounds, you may gain 50 more pounds.  As long as the baby is growing and healthy it doesn't matter.

Um.....WHAT?!  This completely conflicts with the stories that I hear about women getting scolded by their OBs for gaining weight.  However, it totally jives with how I feel about my pregnancy.  I am just not overly concerned about gaining weight.  This was really nice and reassuring to hear.

ULTRASOUND

Jane:  Did you want me to have the place call you to schedule an Ultrasound or do you not want one?

Me:  I thought that we were required to have one around 20 weeks?

Jane:  You don't have to have one, no.  I think they are good for this reason......but you should do what is best for you.  

Me:  Can I talk about it with my boyfriend and get back to you?

Jane:  Absolutely, I'll go ahead and have them call you, but if you decide not to have one just let them know.  You can always have one later in the pregnancy, this is just a really good time during your pregnancy where you can see the entire baby in the picture.  If you wait until you are further along you might just get a big picture of your baby's bottom."

Okay, how can you not smile at that?  And I am so grateful that I was given an option, and that it is my/our choice.  After discussing it my boyfriend and I decided that we will get the ultrasound.  It may not be the crunchiest choice, but it is one of those things that I have looked forward to.  

HEARTBEAT

Jane proceeds to get out the doppler to hear the heartbeat.  She first shows Josh's daughters how it works by finding their heartbeats.  What fun! I won't script this part, but first she felt around my belly.  She told me my uterus was the size of a cantaloupe!  And the baby was the size of a coke can!  When she looked for the heartbeat the baby was moving and kicking a lot, and she explained all of this while she was doing it.  When she did find it we all listened for a while, and I'm rather proud of myself that I held back the tears for as long as I did.  When the tears did come, she said, "It's okay.  This is wonderful and emotional.  There is a life inside of you!"

SHOES

When I got off the bed, the most amazing thing happened.  Jane put my shoes on for me.  She said she understood how it probably wasn't comfortable for me to bend over at this point.  She was right!  I have been trying not to complain, but bending over doesn't feel good anymore!  She recommended I invest in some slip-on shoes soon.  

That was it.  It took about 30 minutes and then we made my next appointment with the midwife.  I was with Jane the midwife the entire time, no nurses.  She made my appointment with me.  There was no waiting alone in an overly bright sterile room.  There was no lofty language that I didn't understand (I even told her that I had been having Vagina Lightning and she knew exactly what I was talking about...round ligament pain.)  

I am so thankful for my midwives in the birthing center.  Even if something were to happen later in pregnancy and I had to deliver the baby at a hospital, at least my pregnancy was spent in a comfortable setting with warm supportive women!

Thank you for reading.

For more information on Cascade Birth Center please see: http://cascadebirthcenter.com/

What is a Crunchy Mom?

After about 5 minutes of head debate (a debate that happens between the inner voices of me within my own head) I decided to call this blog "The Crunch".  Why?  Well, I have come to realize that I am not as conservative as I once thought, in fact, some people may label me as "Crunchy".  

If you are anything like me you will not know what this term means and may google it ASAP.  For those that don't wanna google, here is an explanation;

Care of Urban Dictionary:

A Crunchy Mom Is...

A member of an increasingly growing group of moms who are neo-hippies.
They generally believe (for varying reasons) that there is something bad or less beneficial about buying mainstream products or doing other common activities in the mainstream way.
You might be a crunchy mom if you:
...bake all your own bread ...make your own jam, jelly, pickles, applesauce, etc. ...gave birth at home -- by CHOICE! (With a midwife, doula, or unassisted!) ...prefer to teach your children yourself at home instead of letting the public or private schools do it for you. ...grow your own food as much as possible, and buy the rest at farmer's markets or health food stores. ...are vegan or vegetarian. ...choose not to use birth control. ...don't wear a bra or shoes. ...don't use shampoo or soap, but instead maybe sea salt or a variety of other things. ...had your placenta chopped up for an anti-depressant pill or smoothie. ...have no television in your home -- and actually read BOOKS for entertainment! ...grind your own grain to make your own bread with (did you know that wheat looses about 90% of it's nutrients within 7 days of being ground?) ...don't cut your hair or wear pants (not going around half-naked, but wearing skirts! Silly people! Get your mind out of the gutter!) ...can add 10 more things to this list that I didn't even think of!
If it were a spectrum, on the extreme far end you would find Amish.

Most of these don't apply to me...the reasons I feel I may be termed as crunchy would be;

  - I am all about natural birth
  - I am all about natural birth with midwives and doulas
  - I read things like Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and Birthing From Within
  - I want to breastfeed.
  - Even crunchier, I want to breastfeed IN PUBLIC!
  - With NO COVER!
  - If I have a boy, I do not want to circumcise him.
  - I'm not going to find out the gender of my baby before birth.
  - I think that ultrasounds might harm babies.
  - I am only having one ultrasound at 20 weeks.
  - I want to breastfeed for up to 2 years, maybe longer, who knows.
  - I want to be a stay at home mom.
  - I want to research attachment parenting.
  - And the list goes on....

So there it is folks.  Why I think I may be termed as a 'Crunchy Mom'.  Lol...but it always just makes me think of cereal................

Breastfeeding, Facebook, & Having an Opinion

I have never taken well to contradictions or someone implying that I'm wrong.  I mean, even if someone just disagrees with me it throws me into a bit of a turmoil.  I don't get angry at them, I just start questioning myself;

  "Have I offended them?".........."Are they right and I'm wrong?"......"Maybe they are right?"......."I shouldn't have said anything."........."Maybe I should just take it back."  etc, etc, etc.

It used to be really bad. I'd back down on almost anything.  But I have found that something has seriously changed as I've grown up, and now that I am pregnant it is changing even more.

The thing that is changing is my belief that I have a right to have an opinion.  Not just an opinion, but a strong opinion and standard for myself and the world.  I never want to be one of those that runs over the beliefs of others, but I also don't want to be a door mat.  I want to have some expectations of myself, others, and life in general.

You may be be asking yourself why this topic came up?  Or you may not care, haha, but I'm gonna tell you!  Yesterday I decided to share this picture on Facebook....

Care of thebadassbreastfeeder.com....

I guess this is kind of a 'pushy' message, but I definitely believe that it should be just as acceptable, if not more so, to breast feed openly in public, as it is to display sexual images of women.  Yesterday my boyfriend's nine year old daughter asked me, "Did you know Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive?"  First I asked her if she saw that on a magazine, the answer was yes, and then I asked her if she knew what 'sexiest' means.  She said it means he is pretty.  Perceptive kid...I then proceeded to tell her that she was right, and if she has any questions about that word to let me know.  I also told her it is an adult word, and that if she uses it she is liable to get in trouble.  But I digress....

Goddess willing, I will be able to breastfeed my child.  And I plan on doing it openly.  By openly I mean without a cover, in public.  Let me set the record straight; I NEVER thought I would do this.  While I didn't give much thought to it before pregnancy, if I did think of it, I always envisioned a cover up or hiding in the bathroom or car.  

But as I embrace my body, maternal instinct, and yes even sexuality during this pregnancy (because they are all invariably linked) I have realized that not only are there good reasons to breast feed in public without a cover, but I want to.  

I want my future step daughters to see it, I want my baby to know I'm not ashamed of his/her needs, I don't want to be ashamed of what my body is meant to do...more than anything, I want it to become the norm.  Things don't become the norm by people first accepting them and then people starting to practice the act...things become the norm because brave mothers dare to bare their breasts for their baby's sake!  And that is what I plan to do.

Here comes the Facebook section........

I have learned to post things on Facebook at my own risk, so I pick and choose carefully.  I felt this picture really represented my views and brought up a valuable question.  It was my sister, who I love and respect but do not agree with on many facets of life, that responded with:

"I think neither is appropriate." 

The mental me after reading this.....

My initial reaction was to delete the post because she disagreed with me.  Luckily that option is not very simple on my phone.  So, the whole drive to work I thought about it.  I eventually decided not to delete it, because I really do believe in this message.  Then I got kind of angry and thought of this (especially since my sister is kind of a cowgirl):

Queue imaginary voices in my head;

"OMG, that cow should soooo go to the bathroom to do that!"

"Throw a cover on that horse!  That is disgusting!"

I could post that on Facebook, but I won't.  I can anticipate a response of, "We aren't animals."  This is another differing belief of ours that probably stems from our different religious beliefs.  I'm a pagan, she is an evangelical christian.  I believe we are animals....I think she may believe we are higher than the animals.  I guess I shouldn't assume, but I still don't want to go down that road.

I finally settled on responding with this, "And I definitely respect your opinion, though I think the bottom picture is far more acceptable to me."

I wish I could have thought of something more witty and snappy, while still being respectful.  But that just isn't me.  Not backing down is enough of a victory for me to celebrate today.

Care of thebadassbreastfeeder.com

The HORMONES Made Me Do It

Or maybe they didn't.  I'm starting this blog after realizing that I feel completely stifled in expressing my beliefs.  My boyfriend, Josh, may not agree.  I am an open book to him.  But for anyone else I edit myself.  I don't talk about my religion.  When you come from a family of Christians and you have decided to believe in Paganism, well yeh, it doesn't fly to tell your family that according to their beliefs you will probably be going to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.  I try not to talk about my views on pregnancy and birth because 1) I don't want to shove my views down people's throats and 2) I haven't gotten the most positive responses to my ideas thus far.  Being a Step-Parent figure isn't easy either.  I don't even think I am completely 100% with Josh when it comes to this.  I never planned to be in that role, and I admit that I jumped in completely unprepared.  All I can do is my best, but it ain't easy.

I have my support network; the friends and family that support me and will listen to me go on and on.  But everyone has their limits, and so do I.  It was when I was faced with a coworker that really had me biting my tongue and turning bright red this morning did I realize just how suppressed I felt.  I will be the first to admit that I am having a strong wave of pregnancy hormones today.  Maybe that is why my patience wore so thin.  But then again, I am not so sure I believe that to be the 100% truth.  Part of me knows that I want to be unedited.  I want to tell my truth in full, without fear of offending a close friend or family member.  

And so that is why I come to you, internet my dear old friend.  A world where people can choose to read my ramblings, or move onto the next blog without any hurt feelings.  So if you choose to read, thank you.  Please comment as your unedited self.  And if you decide to move on, namste to you my friend.  I hope you find what you are searching for on this bloggosphere.